Well my friends another week in our lives has gone by, what did you do that made you happy?
I spent time with my best friends.
God opened a door for me to sing on my churches worship team.
I spent time singing and dancing with God for a quiet time.
I hung up Christmas lights around my home.
I prayed a lot.
I talked with my mom.
I wrestled with a friend and then we laughed till we cried.
What did you do, that can still bring a smile to your face a couple days later? Or an even better question, what did you do to make God happy? I don't know about you but that is a much hard question for me to answer honestly. But much more I want to make God smile at what his precious Chelsea did, then to smile at what made me happy. I guess what I do to bring him joy ultimately does brings me happiness. Anyway that's my deep way of entering into this journal.
My week has been so much better than last week and the week before. I have been struggling with the possibility of going to Romania and whether it is where God wants me to go soon. As I mentioned in my previous journal I didn't get the vacation needed to go when I thought God was leading...March. I got vacation in May, which does work for a different mission trip to Romania but now I feel like maybe God doesn't want me to go at all. I am still praying through that and am sure I will be for a while.
Recently I've gotten some doors; metaphorical of course; gently but firmly shut for me, at this time I don't want to share what those are as they affect others too. But anyway one of those doors was going to help financially with Romania and now that's gone. Not to say that God can't provide; I just feel like maybe it's God's way of saying it's not time for me to go. I have also been talking with some amazing friends who have good incite that I hadn't previously seen. Well one of my friends said to me when I admitted my stress, that it sounded like God was stretching and testing me more than I had expected. Boy howdy is that true and doesn't even begin to describe how God is moving in my life. I didn't even realize that's what could be going on. What I do know is that I am in a place where I don't know how God is stretching me and I have yet to even put names to the things I can see, which is fine…I will just work on my blind faith. Although, praises to God because He has already shown me one way to stretch myself: conquering my fear of singing with a mic in front of people, who I honestly have yet to trust. The courage I know I am gaining from God through every experience is for a reason.
The other thing that has recently come to light is that I need to keep my eyes and ears open to what is happening around me as a result of these shut doors. My pride would have me say, "well…I'm a great listener!" But in the back of my head is another voice saying, "Ahem, Chels that may be true in some areas. What about when it comes to me and you, my love?" Well hello, knock me off my feet will ya. I will gladly have my pride cracked in two for that voice. I am grateful for that little voice, which is constant. It brings me to humility and I want to be a better listener if it's the lover of my soul seeking me. I know I didn't mention keeping my eyes open, one because I know I am bad at it and two because I like to trip over God's unexpected blessings.
Besides that, the rain here has been getting me down a bit. I have to say SAD does affect me greatly when the weather stays dark for long periods of time. I get into a hermit mode and can be kind of Ms. Grumpy Pants. And yet surprise, surprise God blessed Portland with two gorgeous days of sun. I woke up this morning and did a happy dance in bed because it was such a beautiful thing to see sun beams coming through my curtains. I did not waste a moment of my day in my apartment as long as that sun was shining! Also did I mention that I actually got thanksgiving off from work; which for you who don't know the ins and outs of my job is unheard of. There are a lot of flight attendants and I have 14 of those people under me in seniority. SO that equates to me working all major holidays because no one wants to miss those days with their families. Although I did get Fourth of July off, which is in fact my favorite holiday so maybe I just get lucky. All that to say, I am so excited to be able to spend thanksgiving with my parents and not with some random crew in a strange city. Not that that wouldn't be a fun experience but I would rather spend it at home.
I believe that is all I want to share this time around. Have a cheerful week my friends. Enjoy each other, go out on sunshiny days, and laugh a lot.
"It's a voice that whispers my name
It's a kiss without any shame
Something beautiful
Like a song that stirs in my head
Singing love will take us where
Something's beautiful"
– Newsboys (Something Beautiful)
No comments:
Post a Comment