Heart on My Sleeve Day...

Today...yeah.

Supposed to be a day of love and sharing with someone "special," or if you are me and most of my friends it’s "Single Awareness Day". Sounds depressing, and rightfully so with all the hype to be with someone for today to be special at all. Well so what, why do we need someone to make today good?! Sure I would be lying if I said I didn't want to celebrate it with a guy. And even then I don't want to share it with just some guy, I honestly would like to save it for the guy I will spend my life with. It just seems wasted if it's with a temporary guy particularly since the memories you make with that person might taint the day for a later guy. I don't want to taint such an awesome day. Not that it's awesome yet. Bummer.

The truth is, I wish that I had a sign of affection from a guy, telling me that he is thinking about me.

Someday.

Until that day I do know I am loved. And sometimes that is enough. Just to know that no matter what I do, my family loves me unconditionally. And even more so God loves me more than any guy ever could. It's something I must continue to hold on to. And to trust that God is preparing a life set apart for me and a wonderful guy. I really am ready to change the world for God and do that with my whole heart committed to Him. And have a man walking beside me, helping, praying, leading, and willing to go on God's adventure set apart for us.

God has His perfect timing, which He has already showed to me more than expected in the last couple years. Last summer I was so tapped into God's heart and just knew without question that I needed to "wait and pray" for His timing. I felt so sure of everything and it unfolded better than I thought. Now I'm not so sure anymore. I have no idea what I am supposed to do from this point with my life. I want to hold out for more answers especially where guys are concerned but I am done waiting for that day. I know who I want and why although he has given no reason for me to hold out; I know I want to try.

I just want things to work with a guy for once without my heart having to break. Not to just date for a bit and then decide that it isn't right or not even make it official and fool around till we get tired of each other or even have a great time and assume things will work but timing is way off. I am so sick of being disappointed by guys. I want a man who will be committed to making a real relationship.

Okay now that I have told some really deep truths. The thing that I need to remember is that God is the only one who will never disappoint me. He knows.

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” – Ephesians 3: 14-18